Green is medicine

Installation by Nathan Coley

The Weather Underground

Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

If you happen to be in a situation where everything looks bad, you feel there is no point in doing anything, your life seems a waste and you don't give a damn about being alive, then take Zoloft. It will make all your ghosts disappear no matter how strong they are. Giving you unvaluable relief from incredible sadness.

For more than 15 years, Zoloft has safely and effectively treated millions of people with depression and anxiety. And Zoloft is available in multiple strengths, so your doctor can decide a dose for you.

I haven't yet looked at diet pills but my doctor says they look promising!

Float

Beneath all the drinking, smoking, dancing, watching, listening, meeting, laughing there still was a constant flux of sadness as if something needed to remind me that things had gone the wrong way. But the truth was that i was more optimistic and open and free than i had ever been. i thought it was about time that i allowed myself to float and see where the river was taking me while i had fun.

Como es posible?

La habia visto por el campus. La habia visto un dia en que habia conciertos de bandas de estudiantes de la universidad. Llebava puesto un vestido veraniego y estaba bailando con sus amigas. Era extraordinariamente atractiva. Tenia un encanto indescriptible que nada tenia que ver con un fisico perfecto.

Me quede totalmente prendado de ella. No podria dejar de mirarla. Cuando me la cruzaba en la biblioteca o por la calle o en un restaurante mis ojos se quedaban fijos en ella como si toda otra realidad no existiera.

La encontre en facebook. Miraba sus fotos preguntandome como era posible.

The youth is alive

Best parties in Chicago

If this doesn't move you

If this doesn't move you, check with your doctor. You might be dead.

La civilización occidental y cristiana, Leon Ferrari

Elogio al detalle

Al contrario de lo que pudiera parecer no ha habido muchos profesores en la universidad que me hayan impactado. Por alguna razon en el instituto los estandares quedaron altos.
Una excepcion fue Jorge Nieto. Impartia un curso de historia del pensamiento economico.
Pura filosofia. El caso es que el no era un experto de la materia pero tenia un talento y un interes extraordinarios.

Al tema. La mejor idea con la me quede, y fueron muchas, fue que cada palabra que los clasicos escribian era exactamente la querian escribir y no otra.

$

Si uno extrapola esa idea genial a todo lo cotidiano, entonces nos queda reconocer que cada gesto, cada situacion de la vida es una expresion de los participantes y sus sentimientos. Aceptar realmente eso es el reto.

AIDS

I've discovered a great place to post photographs. It works with the gmail account and it is provided by google.

I have posted an album of photographs with AIDS as subject.

Back and forth

What did it mean to be back in Spain for more than 2 months? It meant going back to a place in time where things could have gone in many different directions. It was a regression to adolescence life, where a motorbike, beer, music and very lovable girls were the most important matters one had to deal with. I confess it was easy. It was easy to ride a wave like that. No money problems and all the time in the world to decide which movie i was going to watch. I have seen so many that i won't even try to talk about them. I have eaten so many that I am not even sure how they affected me. I took two courses one in photoshop and another in video editing. These means that now you will suffer my amateur attempts in those worlds. Hopefully that won't stop because there is something i knew but didn't listen to, a tree receives the wind, the sun and the water from all it's sides. It doesn't try to scape or manipulate them. Water doesn't allways fall on the ground nor does the sun always heat the leaves.

And what does it mean to be back in Chicago? If you are reading this you are familiar with the major upside down i have gone through. So to be back between the interesting, caring and diverse people that are my friends here it is a blessing. Yesterday, for example, we met to play some music, youdoyourbeststyle. That is a classic in hyde park social club ( meaning Martin's place). As simple as it may sound it is very inspiring.

Hopefully I will be more active now on the blog especially after the recognition that there are at least some friends that check out the colors i share here. To all, readers or not, un fuerte abrazo and thanks for your company and teachings.

Chuntaro's Corner

Maestros hay pocos. Aqui ya he hablado de algunos que me tocan de cerca y de algunos que no quieren serlo.

Ahora solamente quiero recomendar que leais el blog de Tomas. Estoy seguro de que todos podremos disfrutar y aprender. El tio es capaz de hacer de todo. Dicen que el humanista renacentista esta muerto. No conocen a Tomas.

And now in Englich. I would like to recommend Tomas' blog. People say that the renaissance man is dead. They don't know Tomas.

Tortoise (Live at Werchter)

Exorcismo para limpiar la memoria y destruir el pasado

Ingredientes:

-Papeles y cartas,
-Fotografias, en multitud, juntos o ella sola.
-CD's,
-Anillo,
-Libros "Mr. strong", "Mr.Skinny",
-Orchata, natillas, "La piel contra la piedra", "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind".
-3 bragas, 2 camisetas, calcetines,
-Emails, conversaciones de messenger ( imprimir)
-1 jersey,
-Escribir todas las mentiras sobre papel.

Anyada madera, gasolina, y una cerilla encendida. Camine alrededor del fuego, imaginando que cada vez que completa el circulo, se eleva unos centimetros por encima del suelo. Por cada acto lleno de mala intencion, por cada mentira, repita: ''tu eres la mentira", "a ti te ofrecen para el cumpleanyos del reloj".

No deje que el fuego se apague. ( En caso de que disponga de una persona que le apoye, esta tarea puede ser delegada y usted podra poner mas atencion en los pasos importantes.)

Continue caminando en circulo alrededor del fuego, elevandose en espiral hacia el espacio. Cuando la madre tierra se haya convertido en un minusculo grano de arena, en ese momento, suspendido en el


vacio,


riase de todo, a carcajadas, riase; cante, hoy puede ser un gran dia. Duro con el.

One

Arrodillate arrogante,
gatea como un bebe.

Find your place,
in your mother's womb,
she'll keep you wet.

Llora, con tu espalda recta
respira el calor, aguanta.

Insistente suena un tambor,
te dice: escucha tu corazon,
canta.

te dice: one heart, one truth,
bring them all
to mother's womb;
here they belong.

pero ya nos puede el calor,
abre la puerta, bendito,
y deja que nos bese el viento.

my favorite things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_n-gRS_wdI

Retazos para una teoria del amor

El amor es una mentira que se inventaron los burgueses romanticos en 1700 para convencer a los estratos sociales inferiores de que la revolucion era necesaria. La revolucion era necesaria para que los judios pudieran prestar al interes de mercado y los comerciantes se enriquecieran sin mas trabas. Para ello, era necesaria una nueva ideologia. Era necesario hacerles creer que la democracia y la libertad eran conceptos fundamentales para ser feliz; que uno puede controlar su destino y tiene la capacidad de crear su propia vida; que es necesario romper las barreras artificiales que nos separan porque son ficticias, porque todos somos iguales; todos con los mismos derechos; todos con derecho a ser felices, a amar a todos y a que nos amen.

Las demostraciones cartesianas nos aseguraron que dios existe; la maquina de vapor gritaba y chirriaba que la naturaleza habia sido sometida; nadie es un esclavo de nada, uno es lo que elige ser, vive como quiere vivir, ama como quiere amar.

Mate ( para martin y felipe)

mi nuevo mate ya esta rodando.

el mecanismo,
perfectamente engrasado,
es de color amarillo.

su corazon humedo
palpita, palpita, palpita,
le rezo por la vida.

con dos manos sostengo el sol,
una ofrenda sagrada;
de su raiz sorbo verdes rayos,
un arbol besando tierra salada.

La libertad y la forja

http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2007/05/09/videos/1178701876.html

A voice

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint" then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. Van Gogh, Honest tea dixit.

My experience with painting is very limited; I am much more familiar with the voice. This summer there is a Van Gogh exhibition in Madrid with mostly paintings from his period in Arles. During this time there he was extremely productive, painting 70 pictures in around 3 months.

I did not know that before going to the exhibit. I also did not remember that he had shoot himself after that intensely productive period. It makes me wonder if he was ever able to silence that voice or if it just grew bigger as his contemporaries stubbornly did not appreciate his paintings.

There are infinitely many possible answers to that voice. As many as people have lived maybe. It makes me wonder what my answer has been, is.

Catalan Elvis

Aniol is one of the friends in Spain that I love the most. He has many virtues but to me, his good heart is the most outstanding one.

In any case, he can also play guitar. And powerfully indeed; Check it out,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIkUayo_PtQ


If you have a band contact him at masca@upf.edu

Glimpses of a country from a sunday newspaper

"Mr. Steger, 51, ... has banked more than $2 million. The $1.3 million house he and his wife own on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean is paid off. The couple’s net worth of roughly $3.5 million places them in the top 2 percent of families in the United States.

Yet each day Mr. Steger continues ... working as a marketing executive for a technology start-up company... Most mornings, he can be found at his desk by 7. He typically works 12 hours a day and logs an extra 10 hours over the weekend.

“I know people looking in from the outside will ask why someone like me keeps working so hard,” Mr. Steger says. “But a few million doesn’t go as far as it used to. Maybe in the ’70s, a few million bucks meant ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,’ or Richie Rich living in a big house with a butler. But not anymore.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/technology/05rich.html?_r=1&oref=slogin&pagewanted=all

"My younger daughter had her kidneys removed and got a kidney transplant... and it could get to the point where she becomes uninsurable at some point in the future and so if that happens and she needs another operation for another half a million dollar, i'd like to be able to afford that." excerpt from the video in the article.


----------------------------------------------------

A competitive gymnast for most of her life, Heather Benjamin has traveled the country and won her share of awards. But last year she developed a fear of jumping... so she talked to a sports psychologist.

“It made such a difference,” she said... “We worked through the fear, and that has let me relax. I would tell anyone that it’s worth it." Heather was 9 at the time.

In the pursuit of college scholarships and top spots on premier travel clubs, the families of young athletes routinely pay for personal strength coaches, conditioning coaches, specialized skill coaches like pitching or hitting instructors, nutritionists and recruiting consultants. Now, the personal sports psychologist has joined the entourage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/sports/05minds.html?hp

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Middle America; In places like Carpentersville, Ill., where nearly half the population nis now Hispanic, assumptions about life in a small town are being challenged. And to some, a birthday party for a 1-year-old in a public park is a provocative act."

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/magazine/05Immigration-t.html?pagewanted=all

-----------------------------------------

Palestino

Yo soy demócrata, con eso basta para ser palestino.


Miguel Angel Bastenier

Broken english

This is the first movie by Zoe Cassavetes, John's daughter, who has inherited much of her father's talent for sketching characters very convincinly, to create real conversations and more generally to engage the spectator in some else's everyday life situations. So unsurprisingly, meaning is distilled among white wine and anti-anxiety pills, in brief meetings with strangers in bars, in a walk in the streets of Paris and in what remains unsaid.
I found Parker Posey's acting was good overall and I think she is key in the success of the movie although I frequently felt she was trying to resemble a character that wasn't hers, namely Gena Rowlands in "A woman under the influence".
Situations are beautifully connected with each other and together form a way of telling an uninteresting story that is just an excuse to create those many brief instants, where a phrase, the light, the place or the music is enough.So maybe it's a european movie by an american. Who knows if this means something.
Anyway, one of the best movies I have seen since Once and a more than promising debut.

El chaman

Nada mas volver a espana fui a ver al chaman. Me pregunto que habia pasado. Callado, asentia mientras le contaba como todo habia sido arrasado y como dos murieron. Estas peleando contra el caos, dejale que opere, deja que se lo lleve todo. Yo asentia mecanicamente sin entender demasiado. Ahora tumbate. Puso sus manos en mi cabeza eructando de vez en cuando; movio mis brazos como si el mismo hiciera ejercicios de calentamiento; resoplo mientras colocaba diversas piedras, papeles y telas sobre mi pecho. Finalmente me dijo que me levantara y nos sentamos de nuevo para poder charlar.
Esto es mas grave de lo que pensaba, tienes el subconsciente para freir un huevo. Pense en mis suenos, en los reales y los evaporados. Te voy a dar un tratamiento de choque. Aquello sonaba prometedor, por fin esperanza de ver mas alla de mi historia personal. Vas a tener que parar, cuanto antes, dejalo todo. Le dije que no podia dejar todo a medias. Tenia que terminar... de alguna manera. Aquello era yo. Date tiempo.
Saco varios tarros con liquidos y con ellos fue rellenando un pequeno botecito con cuentagotas. Escribio en un papel las dosis y me dijo que le llamara cuando pasaran dos semanas.

Morirse un poco

Cuando estaba en espana tuve la oportunidad de leer este articulo de Juan Manuel De Prada; un tipo al que no he leido mas alla de articulos pero que es muy respetado como escritor. Politicamente, es un facha redomado pero aqui tenemos la prueba de que hasta los perros sienten. Un articulo sobre la creacion ( artistica) que, segun mi opinion, acierta a comunicar los sinsabores y dolores que acaecen al que intenta hacer de si mismo un objeto de arte y culto. Que lo disfruteis.

http://www.xlsemanal.com/web/firma.php?id_edicion=1507&id_firma=4270

Richard Estes

It turns out that in Spain one can visit the best art during the night. Last wednesday my aunt and I went to see an exhibit by Richard Estes at the Tyssen Museum at 22:00. Yes Fermin, you can still try to catch it if you end up coming down to Madrid and take Yerard a new poster for the collection.
What I found remarkable about the paintings was the unique ability to both give perspectives you would have never thought of and at the same time depict details in an obsesive manner.
I found the motives not essential. Most of the time, it´s urban places known to the spectator and from that point of view it is even more striking; one wonders, was I in the same place? and in fact you were, it is just that you did not pay attention like he did.

I found Estes, a contemporary master of light maybe comparable to Vermeer in his time. People that know, was this statement too much?

reign over me

Incredible but true, I have just seen the movie called "en algun lugar de la memoria". A not so hollywoodesque movie with clear merits about a guy that is loses himself after his wife and daughters die in a plane accident.

The movie has subtle points and funny moments. It shows more than once the shady parts of the characters and reminds us how unclear it is the line that divides happy from unhappy. "I am more worried about you" says the crazy to the hero in the movie. And in fact the dutiful character seems to feel trapped in a cage of his choice. After all a movie that reminds us that nobody is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect life.

Grey Souls

Tenia unos veinte años. En aquella epoca estudiaba una carrera que no me gustaba y trabajaba repartiendo pizzas. Con el dinero que hacia me compraba discos en la tienda de enfrente. Uno de los discos que compre fue el de los Grey Souls. Eran un grupo de Pamplona que me atrapo de inmediato. Tocaban guitarras distorsionadas, con voces apagadas pero con letras punzantes. Hablaban de la ilusion de ser completo, del sueño que sigue vivo tras la muerte, de arena seca que se escapa entre las manos.

Hoy tocan por ultima vez. Mientras el cursor parpadea esperando a que yo escriba algo mas, me pregunto que significa para mi que esa musica no vaya a sonar nunca mas, nunca mas,nunca mas, nunca mas, nunca mas nunca mas, nunca mas, nuncamas nuncamasnuncamas, nuncamasnuncamasnuncamas, nuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamas,
nuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamasnuncamas....

( continue el mantra ad-infinitum y cree su propia version del bonus track de "El fabuloso mundo de los hermanos maravilla".)

goodbye

She came riding her windhorse from graceland, fire blowing backwards and shooting thunders from her eyes. She stopped, put her feet on the ground and that's when the hearth spoke to say she had arrived.

We met and we talked as sun-flakes kept falling from the sky; one of them touched my head and stayed. Then we walked the street and when we were to say goodbye, I touched her and became one.

She got on her bike again and head back west. Goodbye.

Friends

Fermin is my best friend from high-school. he is an artist. he has a blog http://flexoinconexo.blogspot.com/ in spanish where he writes nice stuff. Yesterday we got drunk and today we will get drunk too. The good old days are back.

Pablo left for Barcelona on monday. it was very nice to have him around. he has a great sense of humor and constantly tells jokes. he got to meet ( two ghosts and ) Katie with whom i met on tuesday to eat sushi and chill listening some reggae at her place.

I miss Ellerie. She lives in the same building as i do which is really great. it is a very important part of my not wanting to leave my current apartment: i have a great friend really close. i can stop by whenever and i always feel welcome ( except by milo).

what is an allergy anyway?

I have been allergic to cats since i was around 15 or so, when i used to spend a lot of time with my cousins. They had recently adopted a cat and i would get sneezy and had problems to breathe.
Since then, many times i have been in places where they have cats and i get sick in an hour or so and then have problems breathing, almost always including a tough night of no sleep.
Everyone knows the feeling of not being able to get enough air, at least from playing in a swimming pool.

I had opened my eyes in the middle of the night and the cat was in between both of us. I was ok. Later, once the traffic was loud and the light announced a new day, i've woken up, smiled, kissed her and then she has picked cat hair from my nose. I was ok.

Indestructible

Indestructible is the name of a jazz album that starts with the best drum play i have ever heard. It is a great wake up call, a slap in the face. Then there is a tenor sax, wayne shorter, shouting like there is no tomorrow, in a coltrane way. Lee morgan is the trumpetist and he might be the most melodic one in the set along with the pianist. It is a balanced mix of characters with shorter shooting bops and morgan armoniously bringing the bullets back.

The front cover is one of the most attractive i now in jazz. Indestrutible is a wave and there is red and a big cigarette pending from blakey's mouth in a inowwhatimdoing attitude. This alone is enough reason to buy the album.

Anyway, indestructible is how i have felt today. And why? Because i have a new friend riding with me as will oldham would sing. And we have swore we will always be together. no matter what. And this time i know it is true because it only depends on me.

Tonight we have a celebration party. Everyone is invited.

La musica

Pablo ha venido de visita por unos dias y hoy se ha marchado.
Esta tarde conducia hacia el centro por Lake Shore Drive para llevarle a la estacion de tren. LSD es una carretera de cuatro carriles que discurre a la orilla del lago. Ibamos conduciendo en direccion al norte y en esa direccion se ve todo el skyline. Una mezcla de rojo, negro, gris, azul donde formas geometricas del pasado y del futuro se mezclan con luces de soledad. Si, Chicago es reconocido por sus rascacielos y arquitectura en general.

Estabamos llegando al centro y ya comenzaba a sentir como la angustia se apoderaba de mi, como cada vez que estoy por esa zona. "La verdad es que es bonito el centro de Chicago; Si, esta bien". El trafico estaba pesado, me temia que a pesar de la hora nos iba a costar un buen rato llegar a la estacion. Poco a poco, habia comenzado a sentir que todos los coches parecian conducidos por su padre o por su hermano. Solo podia ver Audi's o Mazda's. La musica sonaba en mi coche igual que antes la habia escuchado su padre. "Y dices que por aqui vive la gente de dinero?; Si, algunos. "

Ya podia ver su casa y acababamos de quedar parados en un atasco. Lo que me faltaba, quedarme parado aqui, justo aqui. No pienses, concentrate en la musica, no pienses, no pienses.
Y Pablo seguia, "Me gusta la diversidad de edificios. Pero ese de ahi, no me gusta nada. Es muy minimalista, no tiene nada. Que te parece a ti?" Trago saliva. Habla de la torre de oficinas del tipo a las twin towers de NY. "A mi me gusta. Quiza no me gustaria tener que estar metido ahi, pero por fuera me gusta".

El trafico se mueve lentamente. Tengo su casa frente a mi. Dos mundos cara a cara. Un coche en la tierra y un rascacielos en Babel. Acaso alguna vez unidos, ahora separados por una brecha abierta como una herida en la tierra. Un nudo en la garganta hace que respirar requiera toda mi atencion. Pablo se queda mirando a la torre contigua a su casa. Silencio. Solo musica. "Estaria bueno vivir ahi, no?." Trago saliva, la musica continua sonando.

Muy bien

Le estaba diciendo cuanto habia disfrutado con su excelente cocina y ella no aceptaba el cumplido. Decia "Oh, no, si yo no soy una experta en absoluto". Y era claro que no era falsa modestia sino que realmente pensaba que no es tan especial lo que hace.

Entiendo esa perspectiva. Ocurre que uno crea categorias y juicios de lo que sabe y no sabe hacer bien o mal. Todo ello esta basado en el conocimiento que uno tiene y que es cual le permite a uno comparar. Comparison is of the mind, and the mind almost always cares about what has not achieved and wants to achieve. It will push and pull and will care very little about just staying with the ( beautiful) present.

Que comida mas deli...

A relationship through its music

There's nothin' wrong with me lovin' you, baby, no, no, no.....
and givin' yourself to me can never be wrong if the love is true.
No tiene que pasar nada de particular.
I ain't gonna worry, I ain't gonna push.

Tonight soon will be long ago
and there will be many other nights like this
and I'll be standing here with someone new.
But saw her bathing on the roof,
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.

Compartiendo azul, Oh, that was so real
and another fall and another spring
but there will never be another you.

Nada particular.
Many other nights like this
and inside every night
I tell myself I am the cosmos.

Que tiene de particular?

--------------------------------------------

There will never be another you, Chet Baker.
Let's get it on, Marvin Gaye.
El hermoso nombre azul, Nacho Vegas.
I am the cosmos, Chris Bell.
Hallelujah, So real, Jeff Buckley ( Legacy edition, gracias).

Las malas companias de Juan Manuel Serrat.

My friend Mikel ( mikeloncampeon) is getting married tomorrow. We've been friends for more than 15 years now. He is the first friend from Pamplona that gets married, and given our background, a real accomplishment in my opinion.

I can already imagine all of my friends totally wasted in the old part of the old Iruna, being as crazy and chaotic as one can possibly be. Being mean to girls, peeing in the street, pissing off every waiter and shouting in favor of some errorist group ( Osasuna). All with lots of humor, nothing really with the intention of hurting anyone. That's how we were, my friends from high-school and I. A band apart.

Sad

I just left Simone at the airport. She has left for good. She will be studying in Boston this summer and then living in California.

It is sad to say goodbye to a friend. I love you, Simone.

Idyosincratic jargon ( and i love my friends I)

Natalia es una divina.
Diana cocina deli.

One

Strive at first to meditate
Upon the sameness of yourself and others.
In joy and sorrow all are equal.
Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself.

Shantideva, "The way of the Bodhisattva".

Marie Antoinette

Sofia Coppola directed and wrote this movie about herself in a revolutionary manner that gave her a prize in Cannes. What I think stands out from the film is the aesthetics. It is not hard for today's audience to buy into the cosmetic, fashion, teen magazine type of images and music. Nearly everyone that is alive today has grown up watching them everywhere. But in some sense, the deepness of the superficial is the most attractive part in the movie.
The reason why I think she did a good job in portraying that society is because she must connect so well with today's equivalent. Being the daughter of a respected and wealthy cinema master must allow you to relate to all the dirt within "success" and status. Enjoy.

Music

-have you seen the movie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHa-fEpMkJ0

-que puedo hacer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhkvOdr7Wqk&mode=related&search=

-algunos me llaman chaval y otros me dicen caballeroy las chicas van cantando:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efbpscMJDPM

-everybody knows heroes are happy/sad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LrQCmtsnWc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrCooR2chfk
http://www.leonardcohen.com/Samples/AlexandraLeaving-epk_hi.asx

-a better way:
http://benharper.net/jump.php?id=379

You never really know

It turns out that you never really know. You don't know what are the good news and what are the bad news. I was in Austin, next week I will be in NY, then Madrid, Barcelona, Pamplona. People in my program will be proposing ( a key step in the PhD) and I won't. Not clear what that means. It might mean I have no financing next year. It might mean that my professor's now think I am weak, not smart enough or even not fit for academia. But you never really know what are the good news and what are the bad news. I met Diana.

LOVE

LOVE